what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize