when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
