ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
