I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
