TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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