I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
