So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
me + whiskey = a bad person
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
