Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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