I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
