I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
