If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
