don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
