It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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