Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
NoShamevember. You game?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
