Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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