I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
