Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
