Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
