Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
