Who did Billy Mays play for?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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