my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
