So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
