so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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