dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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