I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
