well you can't waste a boner
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You ate ashes out of my bong
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
