Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize