you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
