But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
