I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
