Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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