i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
