ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
