Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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