You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
bring money and cleavage
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
