yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize