Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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