you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
