So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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