If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize