marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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