Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
