Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
