So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
