she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
