Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
