let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
