Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Someone came in the potted fern
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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