so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
