Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
