filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
