now i know why i became what i already was.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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