...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I still have a little drunk in my system
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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