That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize