Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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