Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
