Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
