Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
