i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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