were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Are we still banned from the library?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
