She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
