The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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